My sister Karen was the first of my siblings to get married. (I’m the youngest of four children.) I remember someone telling my mom to cancel all her plans for the Tuesday after Karen’s Saturday wedding—because she would most likely be sick that day. Say what?

Apparently, the mother of the bride is often sick on the Tuesday after a weekend wedding. Possible reasons are: the exhaustion catches up with her; the extreme high of the excitement has nowhere to go but down; or it could be that she finally has time to get sick! She’s been so busy with wedding preparation, the wedding day, and returning rented and borrowed items in the midst of saying farewells to visiting family members that she hasn’t had time to stop. When she does, it hits, and she is totally wiped out—and gets sick.

So often after a big event, there is a time when all the buildup of the event comes to a screeching halt, and the reality of reality sets in. Yes, this can happen after a joyful wedding, but it can also happen following a major loss.

Sadly (and I have no scientific proof or statistics to back this up), I also think that Tuesday—or the equivalent number of days following a major event—is the day when most people stop praying for the friend or loved one going through that celebration or that time of saying final goodbyes. We go on with our lives—go back to work, fill out our to-do lists, and prepare for the next event—but we forget that their lives are now drastically different. In both cases, celebrating and mourning, something is now missing, and the emptiness becomes louder as the words of encouragement grow more faint.

So today, I encourage you to think of someone who has recently celebrated or of someone who has recently lost a loved one and determine to make Tuesdays a day when you think of and pray for friends or loved ones who have had major life changes recently.

Here are some simple ideas for reaching out:

1. Call your friend today and plan something for next Tuesday. It doesn’t have to cost a penny! Ask her to go on a 30-minute walk with you; invite her for coffee from 9:30–10:30 (at that time of day, you only need coffee and a muffin—or even just coffee); or invite her to join you to go pick out the flowers for your new flower bed.

2. Send a card in the mail on Saturday so that it is likely to arrive at your friend’s home on Tuesday. Just let her know you’re praying for her and share a favorite verse or a lesson that God has been teaching you lately.

3. Call her on Tuesday and tell her that you’re praying for her. You can literally call and say, “I’m not going to keep you long—I called for one thing only: I just wanted you to know I’m praying for you today. I’ll call you later in the week to see if we can get together for coffee soon, but for today, just know that I’m praying for you.” That’s it. But do it on a Tuesday.

4. I have a friend who lost her son on the 12th of the month. I have written in my calendar for the next six months (and I might extend it if it seems right to do so) to send a card on the 9th of each month so that when it arrives at her home on the 12th each month, she will simply be encouraged by knowing that I haven’t forgotten that her ache is very real—and that God’s everlasting arms are still holding her in the midst of it. It might not be on a Tuesday, and it will take effort on my part, but the point is to be intentional about demonstrating ongoing love and concern for those who celebrate and for those who grieve.

“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Romans 12:15, KJV

Oh, and if you’ve read this far down, you deserve to know: my mom got sick on the Tuesday following Karen’s wedding.

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