Petals from the Basket

Avoiding a Culture of Criticism

One of our nieces specializes in guiding corporations and corporate leaders through the process of creating a company culture that will provide opportunities for their employees to thrive. The strengths within each member of the organization, starting with the leadership team, become the catalyst for not only personal growth and advancement in the use of those strengths but often in financial growth for the company itself.

Captain Joe and I on a recent getaway to Edisto Island, SC — a great break from puppy training!

Culture. We often think of this word merely within the scope of its most common use, as defined here by Merriam Webster’s online dictionary: “the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group.” Our niece’s role is to enhance a further use of the word, found within that same list of definitions: “the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution or organization.”

In this brief post, I will add yet another of the uses/definitions listed by the dictionary sited above: “the integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for learning and transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations.” With that in mind, I hope that each of us will ask ourselves, “What culture am I passing along through knowledge, belief, and behavior to those in my circle of influence?”

As a woman of faith, my desire is to use my belief in God as the filter through which the knowledge I achieve, the beliefs I hold, and the behavior I both exhibit and allow into my world each day must pass. I believe that in so doing, I will create within my home and my relationships a culture of Christlikeness. For me, that is the ultimate goal.

“Have this attitude in you which was also in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:5, NASB). The attitude mentioned here is that of Christ lovingly, willingly, humbly giving His life for ours.

The problem for many of us, however, is that the culture of Christlikeness has been—or can too easily be—accompanied by a culture of criticism. We find ourselves stuck in a trap of using our definitions of Christlikeness (e.g., I do this; I don’t do this) rather than aligning our lives, lifestyles, and life goals with what Scripture says about Christ. In so doing, we invite a powerful culture of criticism into our home and into our relationships.

In a recent post (which you may read later, here) I introduced you to our new puppy, Kati. Yes, she’ll show up in the blog posts often, because we are learning a great deal through her—particularly about ourselves! As we continue our seemingly endless training of Kati, we are reading books, watching YouTube videos, seeking professional tips from her veterinarian, and gathering helpful advice from veteran dog owners. Perhaps one of the greatest lessons for me personally came a few weeks ago.

Through reading an article by a well-known dog trainer, I realized that Joe and I were focusing on all that Kati was doing wrong—and trying to correct it. Not a bad thing in the grand scheme of puppy training, but it definitely was not working well. In that aha moment, I decided to call her morning training sessions with me, “Yes Time.” I’m here to tell you that not only has Kati improved, but I have too! Instead of constantly correcting her wrong actions (which, yes, we still have to struggle with on a daily basis with our all-too-cute-for-her-own-good puppy), we now focus on being her confident leaders, looking for her improvements, and praising them with an enthusiastic “YES!”

It was a game changer for our training. Then last night it hit me: I must apply this same principle to the culture I create within my home and in my relationships. Yes, in my goal of Christlikeness I must see that Christ corrects, chastens, rebukes. But His motivation is love, which is also seen in His humility, compassion, listening ear, kindness, generosity, grace, and so much more. As a believer in God and in His Word, I must create and cultivate a culture in which I both present and look for the “yes” moments that align with Scripture’s definitions of Christlikeness.

Where is your focus today? Do you find yourself all too often dwelling within a culture of criticism—particularly in light of current events? Oh faith friend, if that is true of you (as it often is of me), join me today in asking God to help each of us to cultivate a culture of caring, a culture of compassion, and a culture of humble love that, by our example, leads us and future generations out of the culture of criticism and into a culture of Christlikeness.


Further reading:

Philippians 2:5-11; Colossians 3:14; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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