My prayer list is really long. No seriously—it’s really long. That doesn’t make me pious or more spiritual than others; it simply means that when someone posts a “Please pray for my mom; she’s having surgery tomorrow” on Facebook, and I enter my comment, “Praying in Indiana,”  that I really am praying and going to continue to pray about it. It means that when a friend calls and asks me to pray about something, I will. It means that when I say, “How can I pray for you this week?” I truly want to know because I truly plan to say your name and your request to the Lord when I speak to Him in prayer each day.

It’s not because of who I am, but it’s because I believe in the amazing power of the Great I AM!

So as I read John chapter 15 today (in my ongoing daily reading of John as I prepare for Easter), I was once again struck by the simplicity and yet the complexity of two statements, one in verse 7 and the other in verse 16:

“If you abide in me and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” (John 15:7, NASB)

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you.” (John 15:16, NASB)

While there are specific “if” and “so that” elements of these promises, which I must, by His power, fulfill, the bottom line is that all that He is and all that He has are available if I but ask. It’s what He stated, and I must take Him at His word.

In the fall of 1999, I was working at a small Christian college in Northern Wisconsin, and Dr. Dave Doran (currently pastor of Inter-City Baptist Church in Allen Park, MI) came to the campus to teach a week-long course and to speak in the daily chapel services. I was greatly struggling with the seeming “emptiness” left by my unfulfilled plans and wishes, and I asked if I could meet with him for some counseling. (He and his dear wife are long-time friends.)

I’m sure it was odd for him when I started our meeting with “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.” We were the same age (38 at that time), and he already had an amazing wife, four awesome sons, and a well-established ministry in the Detroit area. I was a constantly fluctuating single with no prospects for “permanent male companionship” up there in the snowy woods!

As a good counselor would, he asked what I wanted to do and what I wanted to be. I was honest (which, by the way, is the only way to be when receiving counsel; after all, they’re counseling you, not the you that you wish you were), and the conversation ended up eventually pausing briefly on my continuing desire to be married to a man who loved God and to be a companion to that man to the glory of God.

Dr. Doran then asked me a question that has stuck with me: “As you pray for that, is it a demand or a desire?”

Good question.

My answer is not the point of this blog post, so that’s all I’m sharing of my helpful, God-focused, personal session!

But the point I do want to share, getting back to the verses that hit home with me in John 15 this morning, is that I think I finally, fifteen years after being asked that question, saw the bottom-line way to truly recognize the difference between whether my prayer requests are demands or desires, and I’ll share that finding straight from what I wrote in my God-and-I-Time journal entry:

There’s a fine line between a demand and a desire. I think that what increases the difference between the two is when I pray for something and then attempt not to simply do right and abide in Him but to manipulate circumstances to bring about what I have requested.

A demand takes control; a desire yields control.

So as I continue to honor my commitment to pray for others and to pray for my own desires (and yes, that desire remains, despite total contentment in who and what I am today: single), I will expectantly wait for God, yielding control to and acknowledging the control of the One Who is listening to those requests with selfless love and with the ability to do what He has promised!

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Numbers intrigue me. I love their unique patterns, and I often form numerical equations in my mind to help me remember things: for example, several years ago, I had a phone number that ended in 1339, which, for a “numbers person” make total sense: 1 x 3 = 3, and 3 x 3 = 9. If you’re not a numbers person, you’re saying, “huh?” and if you are a numbers person, you’re thinking, “duh.” Any numbers I hear—ever—go through this process! [By the way: all numbers this week (actually, 4/11-19/14) are the same forward and backward: 4/14/14; 4/15/14; 4/16/14, etc.!]

Now that I’ve let you in on a glimpse of just one odd side of how my mind works (yes, one of many, I’m sure!), you’ll understand my fascination with the fact that as I prepared to read John 14 this morning and first asked for God’s guidance to point me toward a verse, section, principle, or thought to put into action today, I was led to verse fourteen:

John 14:14, NASB: “If you ask Me anything in my name, I will do it.”

Now, lest you think I’m saying it was some “sign” because of the numbers, I’m not. I’m just sharing that it was cool that after I was pointed toward this verse, the irony of the “numerical fascination” made me smile: John is the fourth book of the New Testament; therefore, my verse of application today was 4/14:14; and today is 4/14/14! Again, it has no spiritual significance—it was just a fun nonessential fact about a very essential verse.

So many religious leaders and groups have turned this verse into what is dubbed the “prosperity Gospel” (the bottom line with that way of thinking is most often: love Jesus and be filthy rich) that we often shy away from its powerful truth.

It’s not written in some difficult-to-understand code of numerical (in)significance. Jesus says, “I will do it.” Not “I might”; not, “I’ll think about it.” He says, “I will do it.” And He keeps His word.

So, because Jesus keeps His word, is my faith so small that I am not receiving what I ask, or am I receiving what I ask, but my faith is so small that I can’t see it?”

Lord, my relationship with You too often runs so shallow that I impose my own thoughts and reactions onto You. Yet I come to You today with a sense of longing, imploring You to grant my desire for renewed fellowship and for You to answer, “I will do it.” Lord, I want to know You—not the You I imagine You to be, based on my finite thoughts, but the You Who keeps His word and supersedes those expectations by more than I could ever ask or think. 

Whose idea was it to read the Book of John in the days leading up to Easter? I mean, seriously, this is getting downright painful! Yet, when I chose to read this book (oh, that’s right—that’s who it was!), I wanted to see how Jesus lived before He died. The goal, of course, is to live the same way!

But in John 10: 7-8 (NIV), the words of Jesus made me think about the choices I have to make in order for that to happen.

“Therefore Jesus said again, ‘Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them.'”

Okay, first of all, if you’ve read this blog for any time at all, you know I’m a magnet for names, attributes, and actions of God so that I can use them on my praise walks! So, of course, I gravitated toward a new G word: “I am the gate!”

But it was the end of verse eight that got me: “but the sheep have not listened to them [the thieves and robbers who tried to lure the sheep].”

I listen to far too many voices that call for my attention and attempt to steal me away from the Good Shepherd. Here are a just a few. (As you read these, maybe you’ll identify with the temptation to listen to their cries for your attention.)

The voice of guilt:

“You sinned in the past—and who wants to listen to someone who did what you did talk about God?”

“You’re no better than the worst of your past sins.”

“You blew it. Everyone knows it. You are what they say you are.”

The voice of “stuff”:

“If you have me, you’ll finally be happy and content.”

“You need more of me to make you happier.”

“I want to be your top priority.”

The voice of toxic relationships:

“You should love me more than you love God.”

“It really won’t hurt you to just try it…once.”

“If you really love me….” or “If you’re really my friend….” (i.e., conditional love)

And those are only a few of the voices constantly vying for our attention!

But the Good Shepherd has this calm, gentle, unflustered, confidence-inducing voice that welcomes us into the gate with these alternatives to the three voices listed above:

The voice of grace:

“My grace is greater than your sin—all of it—so tell people about that!” (Based on Romans 5:20)

“My death on the cross paid for all sin!” (Based on Romans 5:8)

“You are mine. That’s who you are!” (Based on Isaiah 43:1)

The voice of security:

“A foundation of ‘gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, or straw’ will fall apart; I am a solid, unshakable foundation!” (Based on I Corinthians 3:11-13)

“Godliness with contentment is great gain!” (Based on I Timothy 6:6)

“In me, your soul is at rest; there is no true profit in gaining the whole world but losing your soul!” (Based on Luke 9:25)

The voice of truth:

“Choose God—He will not fail you!” (Based on Joshua 24:15)

“I am faithful. I will give you strength to overcome any temptation!” (Based on I Corinthians 10:13)

“I have loved you with an everlasting love!” (Based on Jeremiah 31:3)

The sheep in John 10 have learned not to listen to the voices of the thieves and robbers but to be solely focused on the Good Shepherd’s voice. So now we have to choose—which voice will we will listen to:

• the voice of guilt or the voice of grace?
• the voice of “stuff” or the voice of security?
• the voice of toxic relationships or the voice of truth?