September 10, 2015. Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.

STOP. I literally beg you not to log out, close this post, or predetermine that this will be a “downer” post. I need you to read this. You need you to read this. And sadly, someone you know, love, work with, go to school with, or even sit next to in church needs you to read this. Please. It looks long, and it’s longer than most of my posts, but every word was carefully chosen and works with purpose to tell the entire story. Please.

One of the rules of letter writing, blogging, etc. is to never begin your writing with an apology. It is considered a “weak” start. But I have no options, because without this apology, my words are just words. I need you to know that they have passion, conviction, and a desire to make an impact backing them up. And, sadly but truthfully, some of you will read this next paragraph and either condemn me for it or recognize yourselves in the midst of it.

In the past eighteen years, my view of depression, mental illness, and suicide has done a 180-degree turn. Prior to that time, I was guilty of passing along an oft-quoted definition of depression that I thought was concise, and oh so Christian: the blanket statement, one-size-fits-all definition said, “Depression is nothing more than an adult temper tantrum.” Truly, it actually just brought a tear to my eye to even type that. I apologize from the very depths of my being for generalizing and sharing this (in most cases) faulty “definition” with so many people through the years. I have written long enough now to even know that some will read this post, and that definition is the only phrase they’ll remember, and they’ll misquote me on it or say that this is how I currently feel. But I’m willing to risk that in the hope that even more will recognize their own “pat-answer” thoughts on the tragically rampant symptoms and results of depression (whatever their cause—more on that in a moment) and hopefully become more aware of the needs of those around them…or of their personal need for assistance with overcoming and/or dealing with depression and mental illness.

For those already hyperventilating in their desire to “set me straight” after only one major paragraph, I will quickly address a few things in list form, and I will address them below from the viewpoint of a faith-based blogger. I will also use the terms “depression” and “mental illness” separately in order to differentiate the two. Please know that both depression and mental illness are not limited to the points in this list:

1. Sometimes, in some cases, a state of depression truly is just a pity party because “I didn’t get what I wanted.”
2. Sometimes depression can be caused and/or enhanced by the effects of medication or natural hormonal changes.
3. Sometimes depression is an outward symptom of mental illness.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.
Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.
But take heart, because I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, NLT).

In fact, notice that He even adds a quantifier: many!

But in His truly amazing grace and love, He quickly had the writer of this verse (John) write: “But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” Can I get a hallelujah? Through Him, we are overcomers. We don’t have to allow these difficulties to overtake us, because God is greater—greater than the sadness, the disappointment, the individual who is being unkind, the broken dream, the loss, etc! He is greater!

2. As my father (who passed away in January) began to decline, he needed various medications to control some of the aspects of his Parkinson’s disease. I learned so much from watching how these medications affected his day-in and day-out routines. The slightest raising or lowering of doses impacted his movements, his heart rate, and even his reactions to life around him. Those who knew my father knew that he was not perfect, but he was a sincerely godly man whose inner spirit did not change even in the worst days of his illness. However, after a few of his dosage modifications, this generally calm and gentle-spirited man would become anxious about small things. He would “fret the small stuff.” And it was a good lesson for me on the effects of medication on one’s “normal” self.

In another example of this, author, fellow believer, and combat-wounded veteran Brad C Fite, in his widely read book, Life after Death: A Survivor’s Story, boldly shares in raw detail the story of his three (thankfully failed) suicide attempts following his injury in Afghanistan, attempted in great part due to the combined effects of depression and medication.

Additionally, I will transparently tell you a true personal story. Following a major surgery that immediately threw me into the effects of normal menopausal changes, I did not have the “minor” changes that I had been warned about. Instead, the sudden changes within my physical body caused me to turn from a confident, people-loving, life-of-the-party, happy person into someone I didn’t know: I was fearful, sad, introspective, and incapable of being around new people or in new situations. I literally felt that as I went to work I was watching myself “function” as if everything were okay. But I would come home to my quiet apartment, where I was the only occupant, and sit behind my couch in silence, just hoping that no one would call, visit, or ask me to do anything. I could not sit in the large auditorium in my church for fear that I would suddenly freak out and run from the building. I sat on a couch in the general meeting area, and I generally placed my Bible next to me, trying to make it look like the seat next to me was reserved and hoping that no one would sit there! My body eventually adjusted to the major changes, and, unfortunately, some would tell you, I’m back to my happy-go-lucky self! But the overwhelming sense of depression and fear were very real and very, very strong.

3. I am not a medical doctor, a licensed psychiatrist or psychotherapist, or a certified counselor. I’m an average woman, living in a small town, with a desire to make a difference. So when it comes to mental illness, I have to rely on the professionals. But I do know this, and I am willing to state it with no reservations: We who are Christ followers (often called “believers”) have buried our heads in the sand far too long on this topic. Mental illness is real, and its effects can often be catastrophic. The remainder of this post will address those realities.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):

Suicidal thoughts can affect anyone regardless of age, gender or background. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people and is often the result of mental health conditions that [affect] people when they are most vulnerable. Suicidal thoughts and suicide occur too frequently but should not be considered common and can indicate more serious issues. In many cases the individuals, friends and families affected by suicide are left in [the] dark, feeling shame or stigma that prevents talking openly about issues dealing with suicide.