In the final pages of Petals of Wisdom from Grandma, Lorraine Strohbehn (my mom) shares a chapter titled “The Death of a Dream.” She notes that when tragedy strikes, a major change often occurs within family units. For example, if a couple experiences a major loss (death of a child, loss of a job, a major financial setback, etc.), the spouse who is usually the more outgoing one may suddenly become withdrawn or unable to share his or her feelings. The one who is usually quiet and more pensive now may be loud, given to outbursts of laughter, crying, or strongly exhibited emotions. For obvious reasons, this change in another person’s “normal” behavior can be difficult to navigate.

A quarantine—whether self-imposed or government-required—can have the same effect. Those who rarely watch television may find themselves binge watching right now. Those who use their social media accounts only rarely suddenly may be consumed with viewing, commenting, posting, and/or sharing at every opportunity. Those who generally spend a great deal of time on the Internet—for whatever reason: work, pleasure, playing interactive games, etc.—now may spend that time learning to cook, taking long walks, or putting together puzzles.

Things can begin to feel out of control. Not only are those around us changing their normal reactions and routines (sometimes simply by being around all the time now), but we are changing as well. We no longer recognize ourselves, and it frightens us. So we remove whatever barriers we can that confine us.

Friends, we’ve done this for several weeks now, and for most of us, the quarantine will continue for an an unknown length of time (yet another element that we can’t control). But it’s time to fortify the filter.

Filter What’s Coming In

Early on in our time of quarantine, Joe and I found ourselves watching more news than we had watched in all of our time together. We wanted facts, connection to the rest of the world, and the latest information on what guidelines were being recommended and/or imposed. It became news overload. It controlled our schedules, the location of our mealtime (i.e., in front of the television), our conversations, and all-too-soon our actions.

The more we watched, the more evident it became to us that the news media (both the liberal and the conservative) seemed to focus more on political hatred and divisive agendas than on providing simple, concise, necessary information for those of us doing our best to comply graciously with the recommendations (now requirements) to stay home.

What goes into our minds eventually will find its way into our hearts and our belief systems, making it nearly inevitable that it will impact our words—both written and spoken—at some point. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, depending, of course, on what’s entering through the “intake filter.”

The news broadcasts, television shows, books, and social media outlets can all be wonderful diversions right now, but we must take care that the filter leading to our minds not become clogged with negative input. No, you’re not going to simply read Scripture all day, every day for the next however-many-weeks—nor would I suggest that. But try to strike a balance with some of these positive options:

• Enjoy some of your favorite music while working for 15-30 minutes on tidying your closet or putting together a puzzle.
• Set a timer for news input (if it’s urgent, it’s generally early in the broadcast) or select only one “news conference” per day to watch. Then, walk away. Again, if it’s urgent, you’ll hear about it, or you can subscribe to a newsletter or a news alert service. Some of you may not agree with or like this element, but we choose in our house to get input from various media outlets. You become like who you listen to, and some of the “conservatives” are so angry and bitter that we no longer feel that they—any more than extreme liberals—should receive the benefit of being invited into our home on a regular basis!
• Choose two or three times a day to check, post on, and/or comment on social media. There are a lot of fun, lighthearted diversions available right now, and I personally think we need some of that. Again, set a timer for the amount of time that allows you to enjoy this input while maintaining the personal discipline of walking away from it at some point. Perhaps use it as a reward for completing your regular housework. However, please see the next topic, because you/we/I have a responsibility on the other end of this filter as well!

Filter What’s Going Out

It seems that we are becoming overly comfortable with the ease of running to the Internet to share our opinions of, theories about, disgust with, appreciation for, and pictures containing pretty much anything and everything. Again, not necessarily bad things—and sometimes a welcome outlet as well as a way to share our hearts and lives with those we can’t see in person at this time.

But are we thinking about the legacy of our words—even in the short term?

I find myself turning to social media for approval, verification, and even affirmation for my thoughts and opinions. Even if momentarily, I remove the filter from my heart and allow the “old me” to come gushing out onto the keyboard.

Sometimes in the nick of time, sometimes after it’s been posted for too long not to have been seen by those I love or admire, I have to go back and delete it. And yes, you can go back and delete it. But once it’s been seen, you can’t delete its impact or the impression you have presented of what’s in your heart. I’ve even had to ask forgiveness for allowing my emotions to get out of control on phone calls, sharing more than is necessary for the sake of gaining pity or approval from the listener.

But how much better it would be simply to fortify the “output filter” and resolve to follow the admonition in Scripture from both the Apostle Paul and the psalmist:

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29, ESV).

“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 141:3, ESV).

Please understand that these are battles I’m fighting daily. These are shared because I know I can’t be the only one, and I’m hoping that this encouragement to “fortify the filter” will allow each of us to leave this time of quarantine without regret, knowing that we have used both the written and spoken word to leave a legacy of grace.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
    be acceptable in your sight,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14, ESV).

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