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Auntie Brenda’s Valentine’s Day Shopping List for Men

Gentlemen, this post is exclusively for you. Yes, it will take you a few minutes to read it, but it will most likely save you hours—if not days—of having to serve “penance” for getting the “wrong” gift for Valentine’s Day this year (like the man who bought his wife a red vacuum or the husband who gave his wife a very expensive yet VERY tacky purse in the past)! Oh, and, in advance…you’re welcome!

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“Hi, Auntie Brenda! You prayed me through my first date with K. almost 16 years ago, and now I need another favor. Will you ask your blog readers for ideas on what I can give my beautiful wife for Valentine’s day this year? I know it’s coming soon, but I seem to blow it every year!” This adorable e-mail from one of graduates of the college where I worked in the late nineties went on to say that he has bought some really nice things for his sweet wife (whom I know well and love dearly), but they just don’t ever seem to be what she really wants.

Yes, it’s ironic to ask a 53-year-old never-been-married woman for Valentine’s Day gift ideas, but then again, “my boys” know I’ve got their backs, and I’ll move heaven and earth to help them out! So, I did what all good bloggers do. I posted a “HELP!” status on Facebook and got comments, replies, private messages, phone calls, and e-mails from all my gals! In fact, I got over 120 replies in less than three hours—on a Sunday afternoon! The request was that they simply share one or two of their favorite gifts ever—or a gift that they would most love to receive. (Thanks, ladies!)

Gentlemen, whether you are just off the high of a first date or off the charts in the number of years you’ve been married, I do believe we can help you to make your Valentine very, very happy this year!

What might surprise you the most is that very, very—seriously, very—little was said about expensive things! So don’t waste your money. I mean it. The commercials with the expensive things are cool, don’t get me wrong, but they are not what these women stated as their favorite gifts ever. Score one for Auntie Brenda in saving you some money! So here’s the list—and for fun, I threw in a few of the comments that went along with the suggestions! I also included the number of years that they’ve been dating or have been married.

Write her a card or a letter, telling her the things you like/love about her. Seriously. Just do it.

Elaine T. –  Cards – my hubby has a hard time finding just the right one so I find cards under my pillow, in my desk, under the plate, etc., and they all speak to my heart from his. [40 years]

Deanna B. – He wrote a letter to me about the specific things about me that he loves/admires/appreciates. Any gift that shows a lot of purposeful thought melts me. Very material things are nice, but they don’t touch deep into my soul. 

Kathy H. – Last year on our 25th anniversary, M. wrote me a letter. An amazing letter that I will never show anyone else because of how special it is. Everything he loves about me (maybe no one else would love it, but HE does!). I will always treasure it and the time he put into it. He also got me a diamond necklace, and I love it… but not more than the letter. [25 years]

Kimberly P. – A handwritten poem  [25 years in April]

Replenish the supply of her favorite everyday things. In other words, if she loves pens with pink ink, give her pens with pink ink. She merely wants to know that you know what she likes!

Jane K. – A bag of Dove dark chocolate! [29 years]

Courtney B. – Favorite small gift – A piggy bank filled with Lindt dark truffles to replace my piggy bank he had just broken (oops) weeks before. [5 years]

Cindy K. – Godiva chocolate [27 yrs]

Brenda S. – A single yellow rose! (Oddly enough, I don’t even like red roses, so if he honors what I love, I’m sure to melt!) [blog owner privilege]

Elizabeth C. –  I LOVE flowers, but more often my husband will bring me specialty food items that aren’t always in the normal food budget (yummy olives, brie cheese, amazing chocolate). [13 years]

Karen C. – Every year he buys me a book. Because of all materials possessions…it’s what we love most. I have 25 books signed with his hand, personal message, date, and reason he chose that book. It’s my favorite shelf in the case.

Leah J. – Chocolate-covered strawberries is a favorite. [7 years]

Miriam S. – I love chocolates. Ones that are special and delicious. Not the local grocery store special. My cousin makes delicious ones that look beautiful as well. Even people who think they don’t like chocolate like her chocolates. [Okay, guys, I’m even including ordering info for this one! Tomorrow is the last day for her 10% off your order sale. The coupon code is VALENTINE14. Order at www.TheCocoaFlower.com.]

Similar to the previous one, make a “bouquet” out of her favorite treats or small, inexpensive items. (There’s a reason that nearly everyone woman who watches You’ve Got Mail sighs longingly when she hears Tom Hanks speak the words: “I would send you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils!”)

Christina H. – Best ever: Slurpee with a “bouquet” of straws. He knew my true heart’s desire! [11 years]

Bethamy C. – Red bouquet of Twizzlers [21 years]

Tickets to a concert or special event—meaning that you’ll have a night out together to make and/or share a memory.

Katie D. – Favorite valentines gift was Chris Tomlin concert tickets. We wait to celebrate til the concert, too, which allows you to avoid the masses. We’re doing the same thing this year with Casting Crowns, can’t wait! [9 years]

Diane D. – Surprise dates, especially a play or concert & dinner out. [28.5 years]

Carolina G. – Last Valentine’s Day, we had only been dating about three months. He gave me tickets to the museum, and he promised me that he would do everything he could to enjoy our time there, since he usually hates museums. He was so sweet and didn’t complain once—at least not so I could hear it! But…we’re still together! [Dating: 15 months]

Greta T. – He gave me movie tickets and let me pick the movie. How cool is that?

Jewelry—and it doesn’t need to be diamonds!

Emily P. – Anything he makes. He made a really cool necklace holder out of wood with Anthropologie knobs one year. At Christmas he made me jewelry. [3 years]

The gift of time. Yes, gentlemen, just simple, undistracted time made the list almost twenty times! And it’s FREE!

Rebecca C. – Really, I just like it when we sit and sing our hearts out while he plays guitar and makes me laugh because he forgot the lyrics….again (so cute!). Also, the coffee shop down the street with lots of good conversation.

Pam F. – Watching a good romantic movie with a roaring fire in the fireplace and candlelight everywhere and romantic snacks (chocolate-covered strawberries, cheese and crackers and other creative specialties) and bubbly apple cider!! A perfect romantic night!!

Dinner out together—or some sort of “date night” – Be sure to arrange the childcare for added points!

Zoe T. – We were still in college, and neither of us had much money, but we still say that this was our best Valentine’s Day ever! He asked me early in the week what I wanted to do. Which, right there was awesome because I knew he was planning ahead! ha-ha! Anyhow, we each got to spend $5.00 on items from the dollar menu at McDonald’s. We wore jeans and sweatshirts, sat in the corner booth, and had a blast just laughing and getting to talk because we weren’t trying to impress each other! [8 years]

Sarah A. – A date out together, especially if he arranges childcare. [12 years]

Jessica C. – A quiet dinner date with quality conversation is all I ever really want. [12 years]

Melanie B. – A coupon to have a date with her when and where she wants schedule it. Needs to have a time limit, expiration date, amount willing to spend, etc. Also, a couple’s massage is nice. [30 years]

Shawn M. – Dinner out at favorite steak place – that covers both of us! (AND my favorite rainbow sherbet at Baskin Robbins!!!) Love flowers but have always told him I feel like it’s wasting money, since they only last days. : )

Tristan K. – Probably just a dinner date. Hoping this year for a piece of our favorite chocolate cake in this area. [15 years]

Donna G. – Dinner out. [35 years]

Provide the means for her to enjoy something that means a lot to her—like time with a friend, a spa day, or a “day off!”

Katina V. – A day or two off the Kitchen would be great!

Jenny H. – A day off to do what I like—go write at Starbucks, shop with a friend, etc.

Priscilla G. – Best one was a gift certificate for an hour massage…I really needed that, practical is always best for me. [29 years]

Gaby R. – Him making dinner [39 years]

Sandy T. – Massage, nail & pedicure things I don’t do for myself very often. [25 years]

A trip or overnight getaway—near or far isn’t as important as the fact that you’re together!

Rhonda B. – Posting from Jamaica…a week at an all-inclusive resort is a pretty good Valentines day present! [12 years]

Shelley C. – When we were married almost 5 years, pregnant with child #2, he was a poor student working on his M. Div. and he planned an overnight at a local hotel, arranged childcare, packed for me, and had a helicopter pick us up in our front yard! COMPLETE SURPRISE TO ME! We had a lovely dinner, night, breakfast, and then on our way home he stopped at a shoe store and since it was Valentine’s Day he bought me a pair of red shoes and they were my favorite for many years!!!

Marta H. – Night or weekend away. Ours was San Fran. [30 years]

Cheryl H. – One of the best gifts was a night away, planned by Jerry, loaded with flowers, candy, hot tub, and my favorite glycerin hand cream. [41 years]

Complete a household chore or a task that keeps getting pushed to the bottom of the to-do list.

Karen C. – One year he vacuumed my high ceilings for me.

Beth P. – He made a list of home-improvement projects and asked me to choose the top three. He gave me a signed promise that they would be completed in the month of February. The next year I got diamond earrings, but I honestly liked the completed projects better!

Photos are big right now. Arrange for a couple’s session sometime in the near future!

Kelly G. – I’ve never received this but I think any woman would love a photo book of their years together.

Amy M. – We had a couple’s session with a photographer and then when out for dinner since we were looking our best! Those are my favorite pictures of us—second only to our wedding photos! [1 year]

Something meaningful.

Laurie P. – [This was a Facebook post favorite for many] Anything that creates an experience that becomes a memory. (Ex: food tour/taste testing in a big city). Anything that relieves stress and responsibility. (Ex: take kids out of house for day, or cleaning house—according to my standards). Anything that shows that he really knows me and my tastes (Ex: a bunch of green apple blow pops).

A gift that keeps giving—because you never know what the future holds. 

(I included this one because this dear friend lost her husband this past year, but she shared her special gift, and I thought it was awesome!)

Becky H. – The best gift that Larry gave to me was wind chimes! That was the year that I began learning so much more about God’s grace. Anyway, he found wind chimes that play the first few notes of Amazing Grace!  We had 25 years, 1 month, and 2 days together in marriage. Those chimes still hang outside my kitchen, reminding me of God’s amazing grace.

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Well, gentlemen, there you have it. Memories, meaningful gifts, and moments together seem to be the things that most make her happily sigh, “Mmm!”

I’d love for you to message me your follow-up stories—appropriate stories only, please. In the near future, we’ll share a few of them! But I won’t post yours if you ask me not to! [PetalsfromtheBasket(at)gmail(dot)com]

Happy Valentine’s Day from Auntie Brenda! 

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If you haven’t joined in on our February contest yet, there’s still plenty of time, and the prizes are AWESOME!

Click here to learn about the 2014 WRW Month Contest and to access the report form.

_______________________

Would you like us to e-mail our posts to you? We’ll only send you the blog posts—no spam—and we won’t give your information to anyone else! In fact, you can unsubscribe at any time, and we’ll still be friends!

It’s imperative that you reply to the “confirm that you subscribed” e-mail, so we know that it’s really you!

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By Petals from the Basket | February 10, 2014 | Events, Family, Friends, Ideas |

A Single’s Guide to Valentine’s Week

As much as I hate to admit it, next week at this time (on Saturday, February 15), there will be a collective sigh from nearly all of those without a spouse or a serious relationship. Why? Because they survived another Valentine’s Day. Oh, don’t get me wrong, this is not a whiny post about the woes of being “pair-less” on the monumental day. Nor is it a post bashing those with cause to celebrate. Yes, it’s an industry-driven, commercialized holiday, but so what—it’s a nice reminder to stop and express to those you care about that you care about them and to do so in an out-of-the-ordinary kind of way.

So much of what we do—if not nearly all of it—is based on our choices and one of the most important choices we can make is to decide where we are going to put our focus. As a woman without a spouse in my home, I choose to enjoy watching my friends who are in relationships enjoy and celebrate Valentine’s Day. But I choose to celebrate it too, by celebrating “love” in general. Here are six ideas for ways that singles* can honor the gift of love from now until Valentine’s Day.

Sunday: Take two mugs, two packs of hot chocolate/tea/coffee/beverage of choice, and one candle and place them in a simple gift bag. Think of an elderly couple from your church or house of worship to present this “love gift” to. Write a note, telling them to share some memories of their love story as they enjoy some hot chocolate together this Friday!

Monday: Choose a friend from church, work, or your neighborhood who has small children. Call this friend and offer to babysit—for free—on Friday night so that your friend and his or her spouse can enjoy an evening out! If you are able to do so—though this is not necessary—provide a gift card to a nice restaurant or a coffee house as a “bonus” gift!

Tuesday: Mail a card—yes, the kind where you put a stamp on it and it goes through the postal service!—to a single* friend, acquaintance, or family member, sharing a favorite verse about God’s unfailing love. Don’t add commentary. God’s words are enough! Thank them for being a great example of His love.

Wednesday: If you are able to do so, purchase some new, unused clothing, shoes, or accessories/jewelry and take it to a women’s shelter today. The unloving acts that many of these women have endured need every possible replacement act we can offer them. It’s a great way to demonstrate love for others and turn your focus outward in a week when it’s all too easy to be far too introspective.

Thursday: Give the gift of a manicure and/or pedicure to a friend who has celebratory plans for Friday. It won’t take you long to drop by her house after work/school/lunch/whenever and paint her nails, and she’ll feel extra special for her night out, sharing that joy with you as you give the gift of thoughtfulness! (The option, of course, is to provide a gift card for a professional manicure—most are less expensive than you might think for a very basic manicure!)

Friday: Wear red or pink and celebrate the love that others share! Make every effort today not to use the word “I” or “me” today!

The bottom line is this: it’s a week to celebrate others and the love that they have in their lives. You are loved, totally and unconditionally, by God. That’s enough. No…that’s MORE than enough!

*Single: for the sake of generalities, this term is used in this post to signify anyone without a spouse or serious relationship at the present time

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How are you progressing during this first week of our contest?

If you haven’t joined in yet, there’s still plenty of time, and the prizes are AWESOME!

Click here to learn about the 2014 WRW Month Contest and to access the report form.

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Would you like us to e-mail our posts to you? We’ll only send you the blog posts—no spam—and we won’t give your information to anyone else! In fact, you can unsubscribe at any time, and we’ll still be friends!

It’s imperative that you reply to the “confirm that you subscribed” e-mail, so we know that it’s really you!

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By Petals from the Basket | February 8, 2014 | Contests, Entertaining, Events, Family, Friends, Ideas, Life Changes |

I’m Adamantly Opposed to Being Adamant

Being adamantly opposed to being adamant ranks right up there with a European American being prejudiced against an African American for being prejudiced against a European American or with an individual or group being intolerant of the perceived intolerance in another individual or group. Yet we are surrounded by these deep-rooted emotions and feelings—feelings which are most commonly generated because of the filters through which we funnel our thoughts.

Here’s a simple (but all-too-common) example: Facebook. A friend of mine heard of one bad experience on Facebook and now it seems that when the word is even mentioned, she immediately shoves it through the filter of preconceived notions, and the result is that she vehemently condemns its use, using words like “people always” and “users never” in her tart conversations about the subject.

On the other side of that, I personally appreciate Facebook’s ability to connect my many communities and friendships into one place where I can laugh, cry, pray with, and ask for prayer from friends in all locations and on all levels. So when Facebook is mentioned, I may turn a blind eye to its drawbacks and send the concept through my filter of appreciation and send out a quick response that eliminates any possible negative elements, which do, in fact and unfortunately, often exist.

I could go on and on, listing numerous negative examples. But that’s not my style, and it’s not the focus of this post or the desired focus for your comments. I think the two-sided example above states it clearly.

But what does this have to do with my Christian walk? Plenty! While there are indeed a few times when people “always _____” or people “never _____,” I’m almost to the point where I think that “always” and “never” are words that should, for the most part, be reserved for God alone. I’ve started to cringe when I read an article by a Christian author using the words “always” or “never” when describing Christ followers or their actions.

Fundamentalists don’t “always _____”—there are some who may. Evangelicals don’t “always _____”—there are some who just might. Liberals may not always “never _____.” I don’t know how it happened (well, actually, I do—stay tuned), but we grew comfortable with lumping every person within a perceived group into having the same actions and reactions. And it just isn’t so.

So, how did it happen? Proverbs 13:10 is awesome. I’m known for saying, “Bottom line it, Baby,” and this verse bottom lines it: ” Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” In this verse, I love how the King James Version says it best: only by pride.

Using the filter of humility as the sieve through which we send what we hear and what we say doesn’t mean that we are accepting or approving the beliefs of another individual or group. It means we are setting ourselves up to respond in a Christ-honoring manner—in humility and with the love of Christ. Rarely does every person in a group “always _____.” Hardly ever can it be said that every person in an organization “never _____.”

The “always” and “never” that should guide my thoughts and comfort my heart today should not come as the result of prideful comparisons based on self-focused filters. They should solely be based on the certainties of an unchanging God, Who lovingly and honestly stated these truths (and more):

“I will never leave you; I will never forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5, NIV)

“And be sure of this, I am with you always.” (Matthew 28:20, NLT)

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How are you progressing during this first week of our contest?

If you haven’t joined in yet, there’s still plenty of time, and the prizes are AWESOME!

Click here to learn about the 2014 WRW Month Contest and to access the report form.

_______________________

Would you like us to e-mail our posts to you? We’ll only send you the blog posts—no spam—and we won’t give your information to anyone else! In fact, you can unsubscribe at any time, and we’ll still be friends!

It’s imperative that you reply to the “confirm that you subscribed” e-mail, so we know that it’s really you!

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By Petals from the Basket | February 6, 2014 | Bible Reading, Friends, God-and-I-Time |

The Monday Morning Mirror – Week 3

You have been such awesome encouragers these past three weeks, and I want you to know that I have truly loved reading your ideas, reports of progress, and success stories from your own journeys toward better health and fitness! Each right choice deserves a shout out and a “woo hoo,” because that’s how we “git ‘er done”—by making right choices! Here is my report from this past week.

Reflections on the past week:

Exercise. Last week, I found that it was the little things that kept me motivated: walking up the steps more easily; adding an extra mile on the treadmill—just for fun; zipping jeans with no added effort! These little blessings came from choosing—even when I was tired or didn’t think I had time—to use the time I had to do what I could. I’m also choosing to have a mind-set of fitness. By that, I mean that I’m making the choice to see an extra trip upstairs as “seventeen more steps up and seventeen more steps down toward greater fitness!” My viewpoint makes the difference! And, yes, please apply that every area today!

Eating. A dear friend had given my dad some protein powder recently, and when I told a friend in Wisconsin that I really liked it and wanted to check online to order some for myself, the little sweetie said she would send me the link—instead, she sent me a can of it in the mail! It was the same brand and size and everything! [The brand is Pure-tein.] I bought some spinach and froze some bananas, and now I make a green smoothie with it every single day! It’s my favorite “treat” right now, and I’m actually having it for either breakfast or supper while I kick-start this better eating lifestyle that I’ve neglected too long recently. For those turning up your noses: stop that! You can NOT taste the spinach, and this is seriously sooo good! One scoop protein powder, one cup milk, 1/2 frozen banana, and one handful of spinach! Yum-O! [Caution: be careful to only use the right kinds of whey protein powder. Some contain a lot of fake stuff that does more harm than good! While the better brand might cost you more initially, it’s cheaper than a doctor’s appointment!]

Reading that inspired me this past week:

I’m reading Elyse Fitzpatrick’s Love to Eat Hate to Eat again. Read it. Seriously. Read it. Man, woman, teen, child. Read it. It’s realistic, practical, easy to read in small doses, written from the perspective of a believer, and genuinely helpful. Here’s a link to the Kindle edition (click the photo of the book cover) so that you can get started right away, or you can click on this same photo and then select the paperback version when you get to the book’s page on Amazon  [affiliate link, which doesn’t cost you anything extra but helps to support Petals from the Basket]:

Realistic goals for the week ahead:

I will (notice the positive, determined choice) continue to write down ALL of my food intake. This has been a huge help to me!

I will exercise six days again this week—adding at least ten minutes per day of muscle-specific exercises, many of which I’m selecting from articles I’ve pinned to the corresponding Pinterest board. [Click here to visit my Pinterest Board: “The Monday Morning Mirror.“]

God is good, and I’m moving forward!

How is your journey progressing? I’d love to hear about your ups and downs and setbacks and victories!

Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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REMEMBER! You can earn some GREAT prizes in our WRW Month Contest (including a $100 gift card!) by including a minimum of 15 minutes of exercise each day and by reading daily as well! Read more about our February contest here—and be sure to join us because it’s never too late!

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Would you like us to e-mail our posts to you? We’ll only send you the blog posts—no spam—and we won’t give your information to anyone else! In fact, you can unsubscribe at any time, and we’ll still be friends!

It’s imperative that you reply to the “confirm that you subscribed” e-mail, so we know it’s really you!

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By Petals from the Basket | February 3, 2014 | Books, Contests, Events, Ideas |

My Saturday Evening Post

Okay, lame title that has nothing whatsoever to do with February’s contest, but it’s Saturday evening, and in my constantly changing world, this was the first chance I had today to post information about the contest.

Click here to read about the WRW Month Contest and find out how to earn points.

In the future, just click on the WRW page tab on the top of the Petals from the Basket Home Page.

 I would LOVE for you participate. No strings attached. The entire motivation behind this is for me to stay motivated in the extremely long short month of February and to help you do the same. The blog posts won’t change. The focus of the blog won’t change. So join as us we WRITE – READ – WALK and have the opportunity to earn some REALLY great prizes!

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 Would you like us to e-mail our posts to you? We’ll only send you the blog posts—no spam—and we won’t give your information to anyone else! In fact, you can unsubscribe at any time, and we’ll still be friends!

(You will receive an e-mail asking you to confirm that you truly subscribed. Be SURE to do that!)

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By Petals from the Basket | February 1, 2014 | Contests |