Petals from the Basket

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Listening to the Tomatoes

I should have seen it coming when my mother named the tomato plants this year. When my parents’ friend Jack brought my mother six plants for the patio, she got that look in her eye, and by the next morning, the two tomato plants that even the best farmer in the land would envy and the four pepper plants that are a deep shade of green yet to be named by Crayola had names: Kristi and Kylie are the tomatoes, and Karli, Kari, Kelli, and…oh, I can never remember the last one…are the pepper plants.

I think Jack must have somehow slipped my mother adoption papers when he delivered the first-rate produce, packed in just the right blend of soil, because we talk about these plants as if they were literal children: “I just gave Kristy a drink of water; she was looking pretty thirsty.” “We need to see if the girls have grown any today.” You know, normal talk like that!

But this morning the plants talked back. No, not literally—we’re not that odd!

But as I sat on the patio to have my God-and-I-Time (the time each day when I read and meditate on portions of the Bible and spend some time in prayer, claiming that day’s “new mercies” that I so desperately need), the plants were right in my line of vision, just a few feet away on the edge of the patio. I looked at the large “big beef” tomato that is turning an anticipatory shade of reddish orange and will be ready to pick in a day or two, and I listened with my heart to the lesson that God was using His “preaching plants” to teach me.

When my parents’ friend dropped off the plants, they were already in great condition. Someone had nurtured them right from the start with the very best of the best, and it showed. They were thriving!

Then they were taken from their secure, comfortable surroundings and placed on our back porch. There they had to acclimate to the new conditions, and their caretakers (the silly ladies who call them by human names) had to adjust to caring for them in the best way possible, knowing: how much water to add, when to add the water, where to place the water (in the center of the plant, around the edges, or in the tray in which the pot is sitting), etc.

The well-being of the plants fluctuated for a few days, sometimes looking great and sometimes causing trepidation that we had ruined Jack’s beautiful gifts to my parents.

Then, when they were doing well enough to earn accolades of “oohs” and “ahhs” and numerous “likes” on Facebook photos of them (I told you: they’re like family!), it seemed as if they were invincible.

Then it came. The massive storm front swept through our little town around 12:50 a.m., its entry announced via the loud-but-helpful-and-therefore-apprectiated blaring of the town’s tornado siren. The wind was fierce but thankfully not tornadic. The driving rains pelted the helpless plants in spite of their careful placement in the back corner of the patio when “Mike the Weatherman” had spoken of the impending storm.

The next morning, just after six hours with no power concluded, Mom and I headed out to the patio to “check on the girls.” They looked beaten down—sad, almost. In fact, there were some losses. Two tomatoes well on their way to reaching maximum size and just before starting to change from the chameleon-like shade of green that matched the leaves to the subtle hints of oncoming red were lying on the cement, several feet from the branches that once provided nourishment and strength. The six plants each looked weak and weather-worn.

As the sun finally broke through and shone down on the patio and its inhabitants that day, the leaves began to reach out, seeming to know that their need for sustenance could only be fulfilled in doing so. It wasn’t long before they were holding their heads high, as if rejuvinated for having survived so great a storm. The brutal winds that had beaten upon them and the strong rains that had nearly drowned their ability to survive were now being overcome by the determination to use those circumstances to increase—not relinquish—their strength.

So as I sat on the small wrought iron bench this morning, noticing that the plants, only one day later, looked stronger after the storm than before, the message they sent me was clear: trials might knock us down, cause us to feel like we’re drowning in the struggle for mere survival, and make us doubt our ability to keep growing and moving forward, but those very trials are often the impetus for reaching outward for help and heavenward for guidance. And in doing so, we will once again thrive.

But it doesn’t end there. Today for lunch my parents and I shared a giant—and I do mean giant—bright red “big beef” tomato (one that had been picked prior to the storm and had therefore weathered it well in the security of its placement on the kitchen counter during its final stages of ripening)! And for supper we had…what else but fried green tomatoes, truly serving as a reminder that even when things seem to be “lost,” there is hope!

Oh, and in the spirit of Julie Andrews’s line in the Sound of Music upon remembering the name of the young child whose name she had forgotten, “That’s it—God bless Curt,” I will conclude by stating that I just remembered the name of the last pepper plant: God bless Kodi.

“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”  —2 Corinthians 12:9, NLT

For My AMAZING Single Friends

By now it’s old news that I am living in my parents’ home and assisting with their care. They are actually still quite independent in many areas, so I’m more the “in-house, on-call” person! It has been a joy to be near them and to get to represent all of my siblings and myself in this endeavor. Yes, there are challenges when you place three adults under one roof—challenges for all of us—but I think the transition is going much better than I may have even anticipated.

Sometimes in the evening hours, we enjoy reading a book aloud together and then just talking for a while. As we talked one evening, I opened my heart and shocked them when I started with, “I don’t like living here.” After I had their full attention, I continued: “Though I have sincerely accepted that God has chosen for me to be single at this time, I don’t think I ever really knew what I was missing until now. I want what you have—companionship.”

My father, in his quiet wisdom, said, “Be patient” and smiled at me in the way that a daddy does when his “little girl” wants something he has already been praying for.

My mother, in her role as mentor said, “Don’t jump ahead of the Lord. He knows what He has planned for you, so let Him carry it out.”

And, as parents and children do, we then talked about some of the unmarried men that I know. I clearly spoke more highly of one man in particular, and my parents asked what it was that seemed to draw me to this person. “The bottom line is that he loves God, and he’s just…well…he’s…amazing.”

Now when I tell you my mother’s reply, you may think it’s cruel, but please know that her direct and pointed questions are framed in a way that she, as my mother, knows works best for me—in order to get me to think.

She said, “Does he think you’re amazing?”

I didn’t know the answer, which, in actuality, was the answer. And suddenly everything changed.

My dear single friends, always remember that the husband is commanded to love his wife. Both parties are commanded by God to give and to love. Yet so often, as single women—particularly the older we get—we are willing to give and give and praise and praise and admire and admire. But that’s not enough, and it’s also not the right approach. God addresses husbands in the Bible, and in His words to them He calls women the “weaker vessels”—not in a derogatory way, as some would try to tell you, but because we are to be cherished and valued…and to be thought of as amazing.

And even if you meet someone you think is amazing, if he doesn’t think you’re amazing—or at least until he does—God doesn’t want him to have you. Remember what the Psalmist said: “Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted” (Psalm 127:1, NLT).

So please, dear friends, focus on God alone and let Him take care of His creation—you! He values you (enough to have His Son die on your behalf); He loves you unconditionally; and He thinks you’re amazing (read Psalm 139, below)!

Psalm 139:1-18, NLT

1 You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

Remembering the Reason for All Worship Music

I’m not on social media to argue or to complain. In fact, intentionally argumentative posts or comments seem to rarely change anyone’s mind or belief system. Therefore, I choose to invest my time elsewhere.

My feed has contained many worship music-related posts lately. As I read some of the name-calling comments from the various views represented, my heart gets sad.

If you like more contemporary worship music, sing it, lead it, share it, respond to it for one reason only: to praise and give glory to God.

If you like more traditional worship music, sing it, lead it, share it, respond to it for one reason only: to praise and give glory to God.

Yes, it matters, as long as the goal matters. But I cannot and will not be the Holy Spirit in another person’s life. Sing and worship with the purpose of giving glory to God—not for the purpose of proving to others that “your way” is “right.” I’ve seen articles about how the traditionalists aren’t singing anymore and also about how the contemporary music creates a style that no one but the worship team can follow. Broad paint brushes rarely get the details pictured accurately.

You have options. You hate the music? Go somewhere else to church, help to change it, or accept it. But arguing for the sole purpose of being right…isn’t.

The “intolerance” of the perceived intolerance of others (by both “sides”) is, quite honestly, becoming intolerable! What is the goal? From the heart…for His glory. Even on social media.

Who Is Sitting next to You?

I shudder to think of the number of times I’ve judged a book by the cover that my mind wrapped around it. Maybe that’s why being unemployed a few years ago was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I learned many, many life-altering lessons on so many, many levels.

I humbly and with red face confess that prior to being without work, I often thought that nonworking people were perhaps lazy, unmotivated, or uneducated. Yet, I considered myself none of those things, and there I was, among the unemployed, despite hundreds of hours and numerous attempts to the contrary.

It was during that time period that I began to look into someone’s eyes, not merely make eye contact. It was at that time that I began to listen, not merely to hear. It was through my own time of need that I began to hear not just the words that others spoke but, perhaps more importantly, the ones they left unspoken.

Oh sure, I did all of those things before—when I wanted to and when I felt that the person “deserved” my understanding or my empathy. But my sincerity level skyrocketed after my own situation plummeted.

Why am I sharing this? Because the next time someone sits down next to you or in front of you at church, on the bus, on the plane, or in the restaurant, I want you to throw out your preconceived notions and teach your mind a new approach:

Look, Listen, and Learn

Look at the person as simply that: a person. Not an unemployed person, a disabled person, a person with low income, a thin person, a heavy person, a person of another color or ethnicity, or as a person who (in your eyes) could do better in life. No. Just simply see a person. A person Jesus loves. A person whose life is not your life; therefore, their problems, reactions, and motivations are not yours. And a person who, therefore, may not fit into your current “box.”

Trust me—this is very difficult to do. You will learn much more about yourself in this exercise than you will about the other person. You may find yourself remolding the size and shape of your “box” or, better yet, throwing it out completely.

The Heart of the Matter

If you can train yourself to simply see a person (thereby removing your preconceived notions), you will also learn to look at, listen to, and learn more about the person in front of you. When you see who that person is, hear what that person is truly saying (sometimes through what is left unsaid), and learn what that person is like, you will begin to see as Jesus sees, for you will see the most beautiful part of that person: the heart. And in the end, the heart (spirit, character, inner being) of a person is the only part that matters.

_______________

Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

Ring-Ring: I’ve Got It!

The doorbell rang. From all around the house you could hear the urgency of the children as we shouted, “I’ve got it!” And when true sibling-style competition is in play, the first to say it would often take second place to the one who actually got there first!

The same was true following the ringing of our family’s one landline telephone: “I’ve got it!” sometimes led to an elbow to the ribs to create an unfair advantage and the chance for that moment of victory when the winner got to say, “Hello, Strohbehns’ residence.” As the youngest in the family, even if I were the first to answer, I generally had to hand off the phone to someone else because I wasn’t sure what to say after the initial “answering phrase!” It would have been better to have let someone else answer the call in the first place!

I was first allowed to answer the telephone when I was four. Yet nearly fifty years later, I find myself figuratively running to an incoming problem or difficulty and shouting heavenward, “I’ve got it!” When I arrive to take care of it and attempt to handle on my own the uninvited guest of deceit, envy, or greed or the unwanted person calling out to me to distract me from what I really need to hear, I find too late that I should have let the One with all the answers take care of it in the first place!

“When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, ‘Jesus, could you get that for me?'” ~Unknown