Sometime between 8:30 and 9:30 p.m. each evening, my mom and I help my dad sit on the edge of his bed for a few minutes. After raising the top of the hospital bed in his bedroom, I generally lean in and wrap my arms around his entire torso, and he wraps his arms around me as I push my right knee solidly into the side of the mattress so that we can use our combined strength to swing his body from facing forward on the bed to facing the side wall in their bedroom. While we are accomplishing this easier-than-it-sounds task, my mom is swinging his legs from the top of the bed downward to a 90-degree angle so that his feet reach the floor in order to create the “seated” position for him. Again, no small task, but it only takes seconds.
Once Dad is in the seated position on the edge of the bed, it’s clear that he’s unsteady on his own. We support him with our strength, and then we encourage him to “look up.” This gives him a stable focal point and helps to steady him. When he looks up, you can literally see the relaxation and calm that replaces the uncertainty caused by the frailty of his Parkinsons-affected body.
After a few minutes of chitchat and a few oft-repeated memories about the days when we took the family pictures that grace the wall he is facing, it’s time to help him stand by the bed. With Mom on one side of him, circling her left arm so that the bend in her elbow fits tightly under his right armpit and I on the opposite side using my right arm to accomplish the same position with his left side, we generally recite the same three reminders:
1. Make sure your feet are firmly planted.
2. Let us help you.
3. Look up. (Again, this creates a solid focal point, providing the ability to stand firmly without wobbling.)
Tonight, however, I realized that once he’s up and doing well, his glance generally goes back down to the floor, and invariably one of us will say what is quickly becoming the fourth reminder:
4. Keep looking up.
If you’ve read this blog for any period of time at all, you know right where this is headed because my physically frail, spiritually faithful father taught us all a huge lesson with his life tonight. So here’s a quick application for our own lives:
1. Make sure your feet are firmly planted.
The unchanging Word of God should provide the foundation for every choice, every decision, every business move, every relationship, every thought, every word, every action—everything! Read it. Know it. Apply it. Opinions and emotions come and go. God’s Word never, ever, ever changes! Seeking wisdom in its pages should be the first go-to in our attempts to take the next steps. (Read James 1:5.)
2. Let us help you.
You weren’t meant to live life on your own. Others are in your life to encourage you, teach you, help you, support you, pray for you, love you, and so much more. And they are also there so that you can reach out and do the same for them! There is strength in numbers—utilize it! (Read Galatians 6:2.)
3. Look up.
Look to the unwavering goodness of Jesus. Don’t be distracted by extraneous attractions or things that this temporal world tells you matter. Fix your eyes on His amazing, solid, always-the-same grace! (Read Hebrews 12:2.)
4. Keep looking up!
It’s so easy to get “comfortable” and let our upward gaze slowly find its way back down to the horizontal trivialities that so easily distract us from our “sanctified stare!” Don’t stop. It takes effort. It’s a deliberate choice. It’s got to be intentional. It needs to be continuous. Choose. Decide. Determine not to let anything be so important to you that it takes your eyes off of Jesus for even one fleeting moment. Choose Christ. Then keep choosing Christ. (Read II Timothy 3:14.)
To know the power of a stance grounded on an immovable foundation, supported by other believers whose desire is to see you standing strong, look to Jesus. Look up. But don’t stop there.
Keep looking up!
Thanks for the lesson, Dad….
_______________
You can check the “Ben Strohbehn Health Updates” page on this website for frequent updates on Dad’s health.
Hi Brenda – I think that you know that Paul also has PD. I am still able to care for him here at home. We live in a Retirement Community, and are thankful that there is help available when needed. Paul enjoys a bottle of Protein enriched Boost at least once per day – it comes in various flavors – I believe, Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry. Paul prefers Vanilla. I also make smoothies enriched with “super foods” like Gogie berry powder and flax seed power. Carol gave me a recipe book with “superfood smoothy ideas. I find that most foods cut into small pieces and with lots of cream sauce or gravy go quite well. Paul has difficulty chewing and some problems with swallowing. Will keep you and your mom as well as Dr. Ben in our prayers! Love, Donna
Sweet Mrs. Bond, I had completely forgotten that your husband has PD. But yes, I did know that. I’m so glad to hear that you are in a community where there is help readily available. Your dear husband and my dad would have quite the dinner: Dad likes chocolate “Kellogg’s to Go!” I haven’t tried the flax seed powder. I’ll have to check that out for his smoothies! We blend or puree just about everything now. Please know that I will add your husband (and YOU!) to my “Parkinsons Patients Prayer List!” Thank you for your friendship to our family all these years!
Wonderful lesson, Brenda. Praying for you and your sweet family. Love to Ben and Lorraine. Gayle
Precious Gayle, I love getting your newsletters and news from afar! You and your DH are on my Thursday prayer list each week! Thank you bunches for your prayers; they mean the world to us! Greet your hubby from me!
I have shared these comments with Mrs. Martha Hall. She has only good things to say about the Strohbehns and so I decided to let you know that. She also goes quite often to have shots in her eyes and she really can’t see very well. I shutter every time she says she had another shot. Her boys come often to take her to the doctor and she has some really nice neighbors. I try to call her about once a week just to “keep in touch.” She is such a precious lady and a joy to me as my “adopted mom.”
Bev, I just saw a picture of Mrs. Hall, and she looks as kind and gracious as ever. How thoughtful of you to call on her; you are truly blessed to have her in your life; and she, to you have you in hers!
Amen! Thank you for this reminder. I clearly see this illustration as I remember my mom’s companion (Parkinson’s ). Praying for all of you.
Brenda,
Great thoughts and a needed reminder. Thank you for the blessing you are. Am faithfully praying for you and your family.
Thanks bunches, friend Dyan! Your prayers are a ginormous gift to all of us, and I appreciate you so very much!
What a wonderful spiritual application in helping your dad and husband to change his body position. We all need this. Thank you for sharing We keep you each one in thought and prayer several times a day. How blessed you are to have each other at this difficult time. Just as I am so blessed to have Ed’s love and strength during this recovery time from breaking my femur. Will try to dwell on these verses during therapy. We send love and prayer, Ed and Mary Lou Isaiah 26:3,4
Sweet Mrs. Semroska, you have once again made my heart smile! Thank you! We are praying for you as you recover from this broken femur. (That almost hurts just to type those words—it must have been very painful!) Thank you for your continued prayers, encouraging verses, and kindness!
Thanks for these wise words, Brenda.
Thank you, Lucie, for taking time to read the post and to constantly be such an encourager! I am so blessed to know you via our mutual interest in writing!